Promotion.

Finally.

My loyalty has paid off. Literally!

I have been working for Bella by myself on and off since we started in April 2011.  We have been through 4 photographers in less than a year, and since the end of January of this year I have been the sole photographer for them at Valley View Medical.  The entire time, I have been hoping that, seeing my dedication, they would give me a promotion. And huzzah! It finally happened.

They have made me Area Coordinator for Southern Utah.

You guys. I get my own business cards! Which is, of course, one of the top highlights of the promotion. I've never had my own business cards.

Now, the feeling that I have is strange.

I feel as though I am wasting my education. I know that no knowledge is wasted knowledge, but according to every-educator/family-member-I've-ever-met,  my college degree is supposed to make me much more money than if I only had gotten a high school education.

Remember this?

Well, it isn't panning out for me that way.

Granted, I could move. I could move to a bigger city and probably find a job I would use my degree in. 9-5. Probably desk job-ey. But I'm almost positive I would hate that. No. I am. Positive. 

Right now, I get to work a few days a week at the HH. Just today, I felt like I made a difference in one woman's life. She made a difference in mine. I felt good.

I like doing this for now. It is a good job, and I'm proud to have the position I do. I have worked for it!

I love my life. I need to remember that. I really do love it. It's perfect. Besides my projects and my house and all that outside bullshit, I really do have a perfect life. I love my husband, and my dogs, and my roommate, and my friends, and my parents, and my siblings, and most people in general. 

This is a good step.

Whimsicaldays.

8/18

I kept wandering around my grandma/aunt cidy's house, but it didn't look like their houses. I had had a baby 2 months ago but Chase was taking care of him alone. I got in a fight with Chase about spraying too much Lysol in our baby's room. 

The baby had thick dark hair like Chase and he had a brain surgery scar from when he was born. I started crying because he was asking for his mom and he meant Shauna. I breast fed him and a lady told me it was his last time. 

Sarah Fieldstad was there and I asked her which baby was mine. She said 'beebee' and I was jealous of the time she was spending with her family and not projects. The chickens laid 2 mini eggs and 2 regular eggs upstairs. Chase and I weren't very excited about the baby.

Early Morning.

I need to wake up earlier. Always.

Some things I want to remember.

Lately, we’ve been working on our patio, and I just want to get it done! I’m tired of it being half. And the stones are heavy. And I don’t know if I am laying it correctly. And peaches are falling everywhere.

But oh, the peaches.

These are the best peaches you have ever had in your life. I guess you may not have had them, but if you were ever going to taste them, you would be glad. They are like candy, these! And with some sweet cream(er, because it’s non-dairy), they are irresistible. I’ve been giving them away because I cannot keep them all to myself. They are white peaches, and they are my favorite things I have ever tasted. And nature made them. And that’s strange.  And awesome.

I’m having a lot of fragmented thoughts today.

Speaking of nature…

Since eating like a veganarian (a new word we have come up with for my eating style, if I must) I have lost a total of 8 pounds. I am scared to put it out in the universe that I have lost weight, but I have. And it feels really good. And so do I! All of the time. And only when I eat something yucky for my body do I then feel yucky afterwards.  My body is trying to tell me something and I’m getting better at listening!

The weekend of my birthday there was the Perseid meteor shower. I wanted to watch it so badly! There were supposed to be over 100 meteors an hour on the night of the 12^th. The Twelfth Night. But guess what? Stupid monsoon season in Cedar covered it up. There were too many clouds. We couldn’t see it.

Disappointing.

But you know who wasn’t disappointing? Dad. He came through town and bought us lunch for my birthday. Cute and fun. We went to Winger’s and Scnoodle-poo-pumpkin served us. It was nice. I had ice cream pie-for-free birthday!

Celebrations.

It was my birthday on the 11th.

All in all, I decided that the whole day was about celebrating life. Even if celebrating it in very different ways.  Yes, my birthday was on Saturday, but that was also the day of friend and co-worker Tia's husband Tyler's funeral. 

I knew this was coming, so I prepared myself as best as I could. I woke up in the morning in good spirits. Off the Cuff had sang their birthday song to me the night before (that was my first time with that!) and a few friends and family wished it to me around midnight. As OTC was ending, our friends Andrew and Nina came to find everyone. It was their date night, and so they wanted to stay out as late as they could. We were just "shooting the poop" as Husband likes to call it. They invited us to go and eat, but we decided that since Denny's is the only place in Cedar open past 10 we didn't feel like ralphing the next day. Instead, we went to A&N's house. We talked and talked. I wish I could explain the kind of person Andrew is. And the person his wife is for knowing how to be married to Andrew. The following are stories that Andrew told us from about 1-4 am on my birthday:

• He willingly drank IPECAC to find out what happens.
• He and Sean sprayed each other in the face with mace.
• He got hit by a car going ~ 30 mph
• He wakes up his child and wife because he scream-vomits. More than average.

There were many-a-more. But those are most memorable. 

I like Andrew's stories.

The next morning, I woke up before Chase. I told him I wanted pancakes and he was so on it. I mean, on it. He made them from scratch! We used the apricot butter and jams I made and I had a delicious birthday breakfast.

Then Lacey came to pick me up.

I was dressed in my most modest but respectable clothes. We drove to the funeral together.  I haven't ever been to one of those kind of funerals. The kind that are devastating. The kind of a not-yet-middle-aged man; a wife and 3 children trying to welcome friends and family to the event.  The saddest kind.

We arrived, and waited in line to see Tia. My assumption (and hope) was that she had cried all of her tears. That maybe being surrounded by familiarity would give her the smallest bit of warmth in her chest, if even for an hour.  Unfortunately, I was wrong.  She was sobbing. So hard. Seeing her friends and family just made her more passionate. To me, she was overwhelmed. With sadness. With love. With support. What a confusing, enveloping, and crippling emotion that must be.  I wanted to help so badly. Still want. But there is nothing, less taking food over and asking how she is.

It was a catholic mass. I was so lost and so interested at the same time. I was as respectful as I knew how to be, and the only thing time I connected was when the entire room lit up with sounds of "How Great Thou Art."  It is my favorite worship song, and I am so glad they sang it at a funeral. It was absolutely beautiful and appropriate. I hope she felt my sadness and love for her as I sang. It was with my whole being. I wanted to radiate the energy directly at their family, for that is my worst fear. I wouldn't be me without my husband, and I wish I could heal the forever void she will now feel.

I know, one day she will feel okay. She will be forever changed, but she will be okay. She is one of the strongest women I have ever met. I admire every stitch of her. I just think of her and hope.

Of course, I didn't mention my birthday. Lacey and Chelsea and maybe Bethany knew.  It was such a strange feeling to have.

I didn't say goodbye to Tia. She was surrounded by love, and I didn't want to bother her. I just went home and told my husband how much he is me. And that I love him. I wish I had a different word than love. He is my best friend. I'm always thinking of him. He should know that.

Speaking of best friends.

I was sad that nothing was really happening after I got home. I wanted to do something! By this time, it was 4pm, and the day was coming to an end.  I whined that I wanted a pretzel. I wanted a soft pretzel and I wanted to go to the store. I grabbed my purse as Chase tried to stall me. "Let's go!" I said. Just as we walked out the door my Grandpa Bob and Grandma Nancy pulled up.  Oh good! I thought. They are here to see me on my birthday!

Next came my mom.

Uh-oh? I thought. Two visitors at once?  I guess I will be a good hostess!

TJ and Wendy? When did you get here? With chipsanddips! And presents.

Turns out, Chase was a sneaky party planner. He had soft pretzels in the freezer, a watermelon, and sody-pops. My mom had made me a pear pie with gruyere cheese crust (I demanded it after I saw it on Pushing Daisies), and an oh-so-famous apple pie.

I was happy then.

We bs'ed and then did gifts. Everyone was so thoughtful! Weejay gave me a veganarian cookbook with REAL recipes and REAL food in them. I loved it so much. (and some cute nail polishes too!) Mom brought me those pies and some money in a card. The cards were very sweet this year. I felt like everyone chose them so that they would fit me well. I should take photos of them. They really were lovely.  G&G gave me money too! I've since spent it on some cute wedges. I believe in spending birthday money on wants and not needs. Life is better that way.

Then came husband.

He wrapped me a big box. It was heavier than I thought! I opened the first box to find another wrapped box. Oh I see, a trickster. I'll see what's inside this one...

Another box!

This one definitely has something in it.

And that something is what I am typing on now.

I am so spoiled. Spoiled and loved and spoiled.

All in all, I love my family and friends. I had such a good time. Sore cheeks and good food and good stories. That's what life is, right?

What a day of life. One celebration of life in two different ways.

(belated) whimsical wednesday.

(Disclaimer: these are typed exactly as they are written in my half-snoozy state.)


6/13 - hour long nap
I went to my training at HHW and it was this half finished house. I went in and Gene Simmons and (black Santana?) we're playing together later that night. The House was huge. There were a lot off people there that I thought were clients but they were people knew. Gradnpa bob was there drinking out of a big garorade thing with a bud light sticker on. Kevin C and Diana Rire almost hit me with a car while I was sitting in the curb. They had painted the house so it looked like there was a big performance area stage then actually it was small. Gene Simmons would do an acoustic set later. They were warming up and I ran to get my phone, then ran to get a hat (symbol) for black santana and missed a photo op. I ran passed two teenager boys sitting on the curb and heard them say I was small and they could take me. I had no makeup on and was embarrassed to seen people from high school. We took our extreme stadium seats and living ads started. They would light up a wall to my right and do living people commercials. There was one for orbit, then a green and orange one with Will Ferrell wearing a giant Afro under the spotlight. Then I woke up.

Wednesdays are Whimsical.

So, I believe that I have the strangest dreams. 

It truly fascinates me when my worlds blend together, because sometimes I can't tell if something has happened in a dream or in my lucid life. Granted, I am not inside anyone else's head, but I sometimes have dreams about things/events that would not happen in lucid life. Sometimes I dream things and then I see an omen the next day. I started keeping a dream journal and I think I want to share it with the blahging world. They really are interesting stories, if nothing else. My brain is crazy. I'll start from when I started keeping a journal. I haven't been very good recently, but I think if I know that I am going to officially stamp an official blogging world credit onto it, I will be better at keeping it. Often, I write these dreams down right after I wake up, so I am going to type them exactly as they are written, run-on sentences and all. The interpretation will precede a photo of the handwritten dream (when I hand wrote them). Bear with me.

January 21, 2012: a 15 minute nap.

I worked at some sort Of rental place next to some cubicles, and I was talking to Tilt. He said he liked my house and that the theme song should be 'this' and handed me his iPad with a giant play button. I pushed it and vintage music that I liked started coming out of a little cartoon photography. I turned down the volume just as some guy asked me how to work a computer program. I referred him to my neighbor cubicle (eddy, gaby's husband, I think). Eric came over and started asking to try my coffee. It was Kona coffee and really good but I reminded him he doesn't like coffee. Then the dream phone rang and I woke up.


One more, for now.
January  25, 2012

Chase splashed buckets of forest green on the outside of the house, and it fully changed colors, and I hated it.  

Carini? *
*All I remember next in that dream is preparing to travel to a place called Carini. I knew how to spell it and I thought it was a made up word. I googled it the next day. It is a beautiful little town about the size of Cedar City on the coast of the Province of Palermo, Sicily, Italy. Extremely specific.  I've never heard of it before. It translates in English to: nice, lovable, pretty, dinky, cute, decent, sweet.  

An omen?